Jilted By Janet

So this blog is all about randomness and oddness. So, what could be more random and odd than revisiting a page from a chapter in my life called 1994? Oh the memories music can trigger! February 27th 1994 was a first for me. My first concert(and really only concert so far, unless you count Garth Brooks and his guitar in Vegas. Which sort of counts, but not really). Not only my first concert, but a concert that featured one of my most favorite artists, Miss Janet Jackson.  I was so excited to be going to my first concert with my dance team friends Tiffany and Michelle. When the concert started and Janet came out, I grabbed onto Michelle's arm and started jumping up and down I was so excited. Janet came out and performed a medley of songs. It was awesome. I don't think I stopped jumping up and down through the whole thing. Then we waited. And waited. And waited some more. Finally, some one came out to the stage and announced that Janet would not be continuing and that the concert would be rescheduled. WHAT?! Um, hello? Does Janet not know I am one of her biggest fans? Does she not know what her music has been for me over the years? Does she not know this is my first concert EVER?!!? So, my first concert ever was a giant flop. I was pissed.  http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1P2-4216544.html (excerpt from an article written about the concert cancellation. I honestly don't remember Janet performing for more than 15 minutes).

Going to this concert was also a big deal for me in a different way. I was in my first year of junior college. I was finding my way in the world, and in some ways I was going down a bad path. Because I had graduated high school and had turned 18, I thought I was SO grown up. I was making decisions and doing things that weren't that stellar, but HEY! I was a grown-up now, and should be allowed to do what I wanted to do (even if I was still living under my parents roof). Now, I wasn't doing anything shockingly terrible, but the fact is I was being sneaky and lying about things I was doing (like sneaking and taking my grandma's car to Provo so we could go to a dance club on Center Street--ugh, I can't remember the name). There were a lot of things going on with me during that time. Some too complicated or personal to go into. Some involve things that happened right after the concert, like getting to the hotel where we had planned on crashing on someone's floor. When we got there and got off on the elevator, we were hit in the face with the smell of marijuana. We had to scramble to find another place to stay, which didn't end up being a good situation either.  Long story short, being jilted by Janet that night marks the beginning in my memory of losing myself for a bit and learning some hard lessons.

 Janet did come back to perform in April. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/338980/JACKSON-WILL-COME-AGAIN-BUT-LIKELY-NOT-BEFORE-APRIL.html?pg=all I sold my ticket and did not return. Part of the reason was because I didn't have a ride to get there, but the biggest reason was that I was done with Janet after that. I know it sounds strange, but my love for everything Janet had been tainted by what I was experiencing in my life at the time. Previously, Janet's music had been the background to the happier times in my life. But during 1994 when things were rough, her music reminded me of the sadness in my life. Over the years I would listen to her stuff here and there, but I didn't fall all over myself anymore over her music. This attitude went on for many years, all the way until  2011 when I began writing this blog post. I began writing this in March of 2011 and held onto it until now. Back on March 30, 2011 I decided it was time to forgive Janet. But there was also someone else I needed to forgive.  Myself.  Yes, I had made some mistakes that I wasn't proud of back in 1994, but I decided that it was time to let it go. Am I still embarrassed by they way I acted. Yes. Do I wish I could go back and change it? Yes and no. I would never want to give back the lessons I learned. They were hard lessons, but I am glad I learned them. I am just sorry for the hurt it caused others. Now that I am a parent I can see why the decisions children make hurt their parents. I didn't understand that then. I do believe the things I learned back in 1994 help me to be a better person and parent, and for that I am grateful. I am glad I finally decided to forgive myself. I didn't really realize it was something I hadn't done until I sat down and started writing what was meant to be a whimsical story about my first concert experience gone wrong. It is amazing the memories music can bring back to us. Now I'm going to go look for any good Janet songs I may have missed in the last 20 years.
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My love for Janet began with her "Nasty" video. LOVE the movie theater scene. Classic.



Janet and I had history. My jr. high drill team performed this awesome routine to Escapade, which I still remember some of the moves to.


In high school we had used moves from "Rhythm Nation" for our Military dance as a Sophomore(I LOVE the dancing in this one).


At a summer dance camp in 1993, I learned an awesome dance to "If"(which is totally naughty but I just can't help liking it).


I still remember the dance the EHS cheerleaders did to "Control" and being totally jealous because it was so awesome.


The list of her songs that I loved was endless: The Pleasure Principle, When I Think Of You, What Have You Done For Me Lately?,Miss You Much, Love Will Never Do Without You, That's The Way Love Goes, Alright, Let's Wait Awhile. . .

I still remember watching the Miss You Much video with my friend Lori. We loved her hair in this one, (I know, '90s hair) and the extended version with the chair routine was awesome!



Chair Routine:

We also did a short dance to the song "Black Cat." Not one of my favorites, but still part of my Janet history.

The beginning of the end of me and Janet ;)

Derailed

I have become a major blogging slacker. I think my current blogging funk stemmed from something that happened almost three years ago. In addition to this blog, I was keeping a family blog. Nothing exciting, just random family stuff. I did not want to make my blog private for several reasons. 1) I felt like what I had to say was interesting to no one but those who knew me and my family. 2) It is annoying when you find the blog of someone from your past and it is private! If I had their e-mail address I wouldn't have to spy on them via their blog! ;) 3) Going private would have been difficult for the technologically challenged people in my life. So anyway, for fun I added one of those fun little feeds at the bottom of my page that showed when someone visited the blog, when they visited, and what they viewed while there. One day I noticed that someone from Belgium had visited my blog. Belgium? Wow. How random. I noticed they had viewed pictures. I clicked on the links. Up pops photos of my then 3 year old daughter in her swim suit at the splash park. I had innocently posted photos of my children having fun in the water and some random person from another country was looking at them for reasons that made me sick to even imagine. I felt violated, angry, and ashamed. I closed up my family blog right away. I didn't want anyone to know how stupid I had been for posting pictures of my family that people with bad intentions could have access to. I've felt sort of derailed when it comes to blogging since then.

My advice to other blogger is this. Be careful about what pictures you post. I never imagined that posting pictures of my sweet little girl splashing around in the water in a swim suit would be unsafe. There are so many creepy people out there.

I miss sharing my thoughts. I hope I can find my niche again sometime soon!

Pioneer Children Sang As They Walked, and Walked, and Walked, and WALKED

When I was growing up, there were two primary songs I hated. I just could not handle singing these two songs. I clearly remember being very disappointed when we had to sing one of these songs. The first song I disliked I am sure you can guess from the title. Ugh, I was so sick of hearing about those blasted pioneer children. Okay, so they had to WALK AND WALK AND WALK AND WALK. What is your point?! I think part of my attitude about those pioneer children stemmed from the fact that I had no "pioneer children" as part of my heritage. Growing up in Utah, everyone around me seemed to have a heritage rich in pioneer ancestry. Especially where I grew up. I felt bitter and left out. I didn't feel connected to the pioneers at all. I am sorry to say that my attitude about this stretched into my adult life. Pioneer Day in Utah. . . UGH! I just could not handle those Sundays around July 24th when someone would stand up in Sacrament meeting, proud as could be, and go on and on about one of their pioneer ancestors that just so amazing and experienced so much hardship. BLEH.

The second song I hated singing was Genealogy, I Am Doing It. I really, really, really did not enjoy this song. Really. The words to the song have changed since I was a kid. I don't remember the old lyrics that well, because I have blocked them from my memory. Ick, ew, hated singing that one.

My dad was really into genealogy from the time I was a teenager up until he died nearly 8 years ago. I never had an interest(obviously) and could not figure out what he enjoyed so much about it. He asked me to take the work he had done and continue it. I told him I didn't think I would know how to do it. He gave me a copy of the genealogy data he had (through PAF). I appreciated having the information, but didn't think I'd ever do anything with it.

About six years ago I was messing around on a website called Ancestry.com. I had actually signed up for a free 2 week trial membership because I could get reward points through another website I participate in. My mother's family is mostly from Germany, and finding information on her family had been difficult. I typed in her grandmother's name, positive I would find nothing. To my surprise, there was more information than I knew what to do with. Newspaper articles,obituaries, military records, histories, city directory listings. . . the list could go on and on. From that moment on I was sucked in. I could not get enough of learning about my ancestors on my mother's side. I learned about where they lived, where they were from, what they did for a living, the churches they attended, the people they married, their influence in the communities they lived in, and the wars they fought in. I felt like I knew them. I fell in love with genealogy work. Yes, genealogy. That thing I didn't understand. The subject of that song that I hated to sing as a child. Genealogy, I am doing it! And I like it.

During my ongoing love affair with genealogy, I took a look at my pedigree chart. I never thought I should bother with my dad's side of the family. I knew that there were records going back many generations. My dad had spent many years of his life working on it, as well as other family members. When I took a look, I started noticing that a lot of my ancestors on my dad's side of the family lived and died in Utah. Not only did I have ancestry tied to Utah, I was related to pioneers! Those people I didn't feel connected to in any way. The people who WALKED and WALKED and WALKED and WALKED! People who had places named for the place of their birth. People who died on their way to Utah. People who helped build historical places in Utah. I AM A MEMBER OF THE CLUB!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how ironic it is that the subjects of the two songs I hated to sing as a child are now my most beloved and favorite hobbies. I recently attended a meeting of the Daughters of Utah Pioneers. I am applying for a membership (this is something I never would have dreamed I would do six years ago). I am so surprised at how many things I now enjoy that I had once decided weren't worth my time. I did a simple thing six years ago. I typed one of my ancestor's names into a search engine on website. It opened a whole new world to me. It has taught me to try new things.

Celebrity Look-Alike Week

So, I posted this about a year and a half ago, and I'm posting it again for Celebrity Look-Alike Week. The first time I posted about this was because of a comment I got after I talked in church. One of the new members of the ward told me that I looked like "the Mormon Mariah Carey." I hadn't had anyone tell me that I looked like Mariah in AGES. I didn't want to download MyHeritage.com's toolbar to be able to create a new one to post on Facebook, so I'm posting it here.

Here is Mariah Carey's senior picture from high school:


Here is my senior picture (I could only find a newspaper clipping, how lame is that?):



Celebrity Morph(MyHeritage 80 percent match, but clearly I need Mariah's hair and make-up people):

MyHeritage: Celebrity Morph - Free genealogy - Roots

This Sums Up How I'm Feeling About Everything and Everyone Right Now

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Domestically Challenged

Help! I really need some meal ideas. I am super challenged when it comes to this stuff. I only really have like 3-4 meals I rotate through-- chicken and rice, fish, and spaghetti are my usual stand-bys. I am determined to expand the menu and improve my skills!

No Surprise

You will take it as no surprise that my quest for finding my true self has not yet started, nor have I lost any weight. Even though I totally joined Weight Watchers. You see, I have just two little problems: 1) I am totally (I love the word totally) lazy. 2) I am a major procrastinator (I would have used totally here too, but it seemed a little over the top). Unfortunately, I don't think there is a cure for lazy. I once said (on Facebook) that I have decided that the world needs unmotivated people like me, otherwise the motivated people wouldn't be nearly as successful. So you see, I'm totally doing you a favor motivated people! Imagine a world where everyone was a motivated person. I'm pretty sure the success factor would be very much impacted by this indeed. Skinny people, you would not be looking so good if everyone was motivated to exercise, now would you? See how I'm doing you a favor by being such a complete sloth? See? Think about it. You motivated people better watch yourselves, because if we unmotivateds ever decide that we're gonna kick it in gear, it ain't going to be pretty.

Edited to add: I guess I should have said I have three problems. I love food! Yummy, totally bad for you, super fattening food. Need I say more?